Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
