This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
