We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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