This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
