Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
