But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
