I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
