jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
