I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
