Can Purell be used as lube?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
