Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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