Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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