just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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