should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
