Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
