summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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