is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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