Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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