your room smells of hookers.
And success
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
he puts the penis in happiness.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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