yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
