well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I AM VODKA MAN
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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