Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
