I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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