Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
