omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
