So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
