Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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