and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I wish I only lived at night.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
