So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm like, not good at living.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
