mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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