Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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