i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize