jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
