I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
