I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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