You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
