These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
