talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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