sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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