good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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