i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
