Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
