Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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