Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I FOUND THE LEGS
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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