just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
