Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
