I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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