she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize