i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
