He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
