he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
