I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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