I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize