Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
