That's intense
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
