new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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